I found myself feeling this way last week. Longing for the comfort of the "old", and feeling like I wanted a break from the "new". I love the "new"....but sometimes the "new" takes more effort than the "old". Instead of going to the class I normally go to on Wednesdays, which is specifically for those who are new, I chose the old...the 10-year-old who has known me all his life. We had dinner and it was lovely. :-) It's not like me to miss something on The Schedule, I put that in caps because in my orderly brain, once something is on The Schedule, or I'm supposed to do it, it usually takes a lot for me to deviate from the already made plan. I don't just decide to not go somewhere or to not do something because I don't feel like it. Last Wednesday though, I just played hooky. And I think that was ok. It was rejeuvinating to sit and talk with Sam, who may only be 10, but who was also the only person around me that day who has known me for 10 years. It was comfortable, and sometimes tired feet need the comfort of old shoes.
The next evening, the kids and I had stopped for a quick bite to eat after soccer practice and as we were getting ready to leave I hear, "Hey, Johanna..." My first thought is that surely there's someone else in Chick-fil-a named Johanna because I don't know enough people around here yet to happen to have the coincidence of bumping into one of them while I'm out. And silly as it may be to say, that's actually one of the harder parts of being "new"...in the "old", I loved the fact that there weren't very many places I could go without running into someone I knew. (aside from the times when I might have run out of the house still in my pj's for one reason or another...those were times I didn't mind not seeing anyone I knew) Anyway, turns out someone had in fact recognized me and was saying hello to me. Funny how it's sometimes the little things that feel so big just when you need it. (Thank you, Becky :-)) The little things that continue to make it worth it to keep trying on the new shoes, even walking in them a bit, till they're just as comfortable as the old shoes. After all, my favorite pair of shoes today were once new as well. :-)
As wonderful as it is to be known and called by my name by someone who recognizes me when I'm out, how much more amazing when I think about how the God of the universe also knows my name, and calls out to me (Isaiah 45:2-3), desiring that I would acknowledge Him and allow Him to meet my needs perfectly whatever they might be. And He hasn't just known me a mere 10 years, but even before I was born He knew me! (Psalm 139) He knew what my name would be, where I would be in this very moment, and that it would be He, Himself who would be the perfect fit for everything I lacked. He doesn't desire that I merely be comfortable, He is my comfort. (2 Corinthians 1:3)
"I will go before you and make the rough places smooth; I will shatter the doors of bronze, and cut through their iron bars. And I will give you the treasures of darkness, and hidden wealth of secret places, in order that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who calls you by your name." Isaiah 45:2-3
"O Lord, Thou hast searched me and known me...For Thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are Thy works, and my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from Thee, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth. Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance; and in Thy book they were all written, the days that were ordained for me, when as yet there was not one of them. How precious also are Thy thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would out-number the sand. When I awake, I am still with Thee." Psalm 139:1,13-18
"Blessed be the God and Father, of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." 2 Corinthians 1:3-4